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The Battle for Administrator Access

Author: SoulTaker ()
Date: 2000-05-17 00:00:00

NOTE: This is not a storyverse story. And yes, I was inspired by rRaminrodt and SM_007s stories.

The Battle for Administrator Access

Tridus sat in his office. A unusually large office, with unusually luxurious furniture. Large persian carpets covered the marble floor. Tridus looked at his laptop, Sashie, which was sitting on his maghoni desk. He smiled.

"Are you okay, Sashie?"

The desktop was quiet, but Tridus pretended that it answered him.

"It's nice to hear that, sweetie. Please open up Opera for me, will you?"

Tridus quickly double-clicked the Opera icon, and sat back in his chair.

"Thank you sweetie."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Tridus turned his attention away from the little laptop.

"Who is it?"
"Oh. Come in."

SM_007 entered the room.

"There is something I want to talk to you about."
"I know. You want to be an administrator, right?"
"Yeah! Um... How did you know?"
"You asked me yesterday too. And the day before that. Actually, you've asked every single day in this month."
"It's only the 23rd."
"The answer is still no."
"But WHY NOT?"
"WHY NOT is not the question. The question is WHY?"
"But I want to be an administrator! And I have valid arguments!"
"SM_007. You can only be an administrator while I am on an airplane. That's just the way it is. Learn to live with it."

Tridus looked at the laptop.

"Sashie, do you think SM_007 should be an administrator?"

Tridus waited for a few seconds, pretending to listen to the laptop.

"I agree completely. You're right, sweetie."

Tridus looked back at SM_007.

"Sashie doesn't think that you should be an administrator either."

SM_007 frowned, and left the room.

Meanwhile, in a dark room littered with empty beer bottles, a secret meeting took place. Azriel sat at the end of the table. To his right sat General, and to his left sat rRaminrodt and RStefan01. Azriel drank the rest of his beer, burped, and began speaking.

"Fellow resistance members! The terror has lasted long enough! No longer shall the communists rule Riptide. It is time to unveil my new government!"

RStefan01 looked puzzled.

"I'm sexy."

Azriel was quiet for a second, and then opened a new beer.

"OK. Anyway, Riptide has been ruled long enough by communists! It is time to change this! And the first person to feel the power of the resistance shall be... Tridus!"

General and rRaminrodt gasped in shock and horror. rRaminrodt sipped his tea. RStefan01 shook his head, and began to speak.

"But Azriel... Tridus is the administrator. He is good and kind and spends his freetime helping old ladies. Why would we want to hurt him?"

Azriel frowned.

"Tridus is slowing our progress. He has refused to give me moderator access! To defeat communism, we must be able to spread propaganda with the help of HTML subjects, and we must be able to edit posts! Then no-one will be able to stop us! But Tridus did not give me the moderator access I desired. He is not a part of the resistance! And those, who are not part of the resistance, are ENEMIES!"

Azriel drank his beer, opened a new one, and continued.

"And with Tridus gone, I will be the new administrator!"

Azriel began laughing maniacally.

"We will make our move tonight. VIVA LA REVOLUCION!"

Later that evening. SM_007 knocked on the door to Tridus' office again.

"Who is it?"
"No, you can't have administrator access."
"I want to talk to you about something else."
"Oh. Well, come in, then."

SM_007 quickly walked up to Tridus desk, and began to speak.

"Tridus. I am sick and tired of being a lowly moderator, and watching you rule the forum as a god-like deity."
"Hey! You said that you wanted to talk about something else!"
"I lied."

SM_007 began laughing evilly.

"You see, Tridus... I've had enough. From this day, I'm the ruler of Riptide. The administrator."
"Oh. And just how are you going to achieve that?"

SM_007 quickly grabbed Sashie, Tridus' beloved laptop.


SM_007 pointed his silenced PP7 at the laptop.

"Give me administrator access, or watch your puny laptop die."

Tridus sobbed frantically.

"OK, ok, you win. I'll give you ad-"

Before Tridus could finish, a large man with a gold tooth kicked down the door to the office. Azriel walked in with a large baseball bat in hand. General and RStefan01 followed. rRaminrodt entered the room a few seconds later, teacup in hand. He sipped the tea. Azriel walked up to Tridus, who was still sobbing.

"Your diabolical dictatorship is over, Tridus!"

Azriel swung the baseball bat, and hit Tridus in the head. He slumped down to the floor. RStefan01 pointed his hand at the unconscious Tridus. A small green beam appeared from his finger, and slowly disintegrated Tridus. After a few seconds, Tridus had completely disappeared. He was no more. SM_007 stared at Azriel.

"You BASTARD! He was just about to make me administrator!"

Azriel laughed.

"Heh, heh... Now I am the true ruler of Riptide! And you, SM_007... I see that you are one of us. You shall be administrator too."

SM_007 smiled.

"Now you're talking! But... Wait... "

SM_007 thought for a few second, and then spoke.

"We can't get administrator access unless Tridus gives it to us. We can't make ourselves administrators. Only Tridus could do that."

Azriel frowned.


General frowned.


RStefan01 frowned.


rRaminrodt sipped his tea, and left the room. He did not frown. For he knew that the true meaning of life was to sip tea and post stuff about zerglings with notes attached to them, not to become administrator.


"I know that if you leave dishes in the sink, they get sticky and hard to wash the next day." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Battle for Administrator Access - SoulTaker - 2000-05-17 00:00:00
-ROFL ROFL ROFL!!!!!!!!! - rRaminrodt - 2000-05-17 00:00:00
-rofl! Is good, is! - undertow - 2000-05-17 00:00:00
-Hehehehe. - SM_007 - 2000-05-17 00:00:00
--Glad you liked it =) - SoulTaker - 2000-05-17 00:00:00
-hehehehehehehehehehe the sad thing is how close to reality that is. ;-) well done! - Tridus - 2000-05-17 00:00:00