A Goon
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde
Liz and I have been together for 16.83 years. Yay us!
Modified: August 09 2006.
Hits: 7077661/10873105
User: Anonymous Coward
Time: 0.05 seconds.

Read Message

This Lara Croft thing is really getting out of hand...

Author: SoulTaker ()
Date: 2000-05-09 00:00:00

From Daily Radar

Someday, Lucy Clarkson dreamed, I will shoehorn my wonderful body into a pittance of a costume and show off my tightly packaged flesh to millions of drooling videogame fans. We are here to say God Bless America, where dreams come true; the 16-year-old fashion and lingerie model has become the latest femme to take the part of videogame heroine and star of the Tomb Raider epics, Lara Croft. She follows in the footsteps of former hotties-turned-Crofts Nell McAndrew (who showed off her, ahem... artifacts in Playboy magazine), Rhona Mitra, Vanessa DeMouy and actress Angelina Jolie, who has been slated to play Croft in the Tomb Raider movie.

For the completists, the brown-haired, brown-eyed Clarkson stands 5' 11" tall and weighs 140 pounds; her measurements clock in at a very exuberant 32DD-25-26. The new Ms. Croft will make her debut appearance at E3, and she will show off her wares during nine 20-minute sessions scheduled on May 11-13. Clarkson is, of course, the youngest Lara ever -- and if the press release that heralds her greatness is to be believed (it claims she was born on July 6, 1983), that makes her, to put it delicately, jailbait. Hailing from Northern England, Clarkson began her career as an Elite Model and welcomes the opportunity to become the new masturbatory fantasy for young teenage males everywhere. "It's such a high-profile job," she says. "And one of the few that lets you keep your boobs and bum."


Clarkson's boyfriend, reports say, rejoices that his significant other has been selected to play the curvy archaeologist/adventurer Croft. "He's obsessed with games and loves Lara!" Clarkson says. "Well, now he's got a Lara of his own." The press release sent by Eidos to celebrate the event concludes this little piece of wisdom literature with the disclaimer (and we are not making this up): "Whether Lucy will indulge [her boyfriend's] fantasies by donning the costume on her days off is another matter."


SoulTaker

This Lara Croft thing is really getting out of hand... - SoulTaker - 2000-05-09 00:00:00
-*Screams* - BandWidth - 2000-05-09 00:00:00
-Ugh. - SM_007 - 2000-05-09 00:00:00
-geez... thats sad really... - Tridus - 2000-05-09 00:00:00