A Goon
You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
- Tyler Durden (Fight Club)
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The lights dim in the Death Match Arena...

Author: SM_007 ()
Date: 2000-05-07 00:00:00

(The lights in the Death Match Arena dim until darkness has englufled the crowd. A pulsating "0" appears on the screen a few seconds, then disappears just as quickly, before another pulsating "0" appears. After it is gone, the number "7" appears on the screen, before all three numbers together, "007," show up, and Kid Rock's "Bawitdaba" cranks out over the speakers.)

(SM_007, wearing an uncharacteristic suit and tie, starts making his way down to the ring. He is followed by Flutie, Peak_Man and Styx, who are all wearing nice, formal clothes as well. They get into the ring as the fans boo them and throw trash at them. SM_007 smiles, and takes the microphone.)

SM_007: Finally...SM_007 has come BACK to the War Room! Now, before you pethetic pieces of trash try to insult the Great One, he has two pieces of advice for your monkey-asses! First, your rolls, know it! Second, your mouths, shut them! Because SM_007 has a few things to say...about Sid6.9.

SM_007: You see, the Great One has noticed that in the last couple of weeks, we haven't had a Death Match. In fact, these roody poo, candy asses in the audience haven't seen or heard from the Sidster in a long, long...time. In fact, there are even those who are getting worried that Sid6.9 might never write another Death Match AGAIN!

SM_007: The fact of the matter is this: It doesn't MATTER whether Sid6.9 writes another Death Match or not! The Great One is not here to lay the verbal smacketh downeth on Sid6.9! In fact, the Great One is out here to remind the Sidster just how much the entire War Room has loved each and every Death Match that Sid6.9 has ever written. Yes, the Great One, the most electrifying man in forum entertainment today, is out here, thanking...Sid6.9. Sid, even if you come back next week and write one hell of a Death Match, it doesn't matter, 'cause SM_007 and the NWD are tellin' you right now that you're the most respected SOB in this damn forum!

(SM_007's verbage is interrupted by the "Y2T" countdown appearing on the big screen. It starts counting down from 5, and when it hits zero, the lights go out, followed by the chorus of "Enter Sandman" blaring over the PA system. Y2T himself, along with MysteryMan, makes his way onto the stage, and they both start heading for the ring. Once they get in there, Y2T arrogantly snatches the mic away from SM_007.)

Tridus: SM_007, after three boring minutes, Y2T says: SHUT THE HELL UP! The only thing that this audience is thankful for is the fact that Y2T came out here and took this microphone away from you, before they asked for a ticket refund. As far as Sid6.9 goes, jerky, Y2T also has a few words for the man, the myth, the legend, too! Sidster, buddy old pal, me and M&M wanted to thank ya for putting on some of the most entertaining shows the War Room has ever seen! So get your ass back here and write next week's Death Match! And even if ya don't, hell, do you think anyone is going to be pissed? Tell 'em, M&M!

MysteryMan: Sidster, we all know that you write some of the most action-packed, funniest sh*t on the planet. It's true, it's true! And to steal a quiote from my mentor: Even if you never, E-E-E-EVER write another Death Match agayn, hell, all we can do is thank you for putting on your Death Matches at all, for free, for all this time and giving the War Room something to talk about!

(MysteryMan is interrupted by Big Sexy Stefan, Master Sidious, Announcer Dude, Mother Love, and every other personality and superstar making their way down to the ring. They all get in the ring with the NWD and Tridus and MysteryMan, then proceed to all give out a large applause, with cheering and clapping from the audience as well, out to Sid6.9. They all begin leaving the ring together in celebration and thanks for the Sidster's kick-ass Death Match posts and stories that have kept people interested for so long.)

YOU RULE, SIDDY!

SM_007
Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
The queen is their slave


The lights dim in the Death Match Arena... - SM_007 - 2000-05-07 00:00:00
-Except that he's supposed to be Y2T, not Y2J - kwerkey - 2000-05-07 00:00:00
--Whoops! Hehehehe. *Fixes mistake and destroys the evidence.* - SM_007 - 2000-05-07 00:00:00
-sexy! - RStefan01 - 2000-05-07 00:00:00