A Goon
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Escape from Dark Lord Tridus' Keep: Part II

Author: Un-King WizardSlayer ()
Date: 2000-03-04 00:00:00

*Aaron has escaped from the cell in Tridus' keep. He's looking for Tridus' laptop so he can reset the Anon user permissions. He's still in the prison hall, with his assistant skater goon "Horhey"*

Aaron: I can't make heads or tails of this Keep. Horhey, we'll have to find a map.
Horhey: Tight dawg.
Aaron: Quit it with the ebonics.
Horhey: Hell no yo'
*Aaron slaps Horhey*
Horhey: Okay

*Aaron and Horhey walk down a long hall on both sides of the hall are dungeon cell filled with forumers that didn't vote for Chris (Tridus), behind the prisoners are people wearing dark robes chanting in deep monotone voices "Now don't you wish you voted for Master ... Now don't you wish you voted for Master"*

Aaron: What a twisted psycho Tridus is ...
*One of Tridus' Slaves heads snaps to Aaron's direction*
Dark Slave of Evil: What was that?!
Aaron: I said Dark Lord Tridus is a very nice person
Dark Slave of Evil: Oh ... okay. Hey what are you doing here?
Aaron: I'm here to reset Anonymous permission to the Rip-Tide forum.
Dark Slave of Evil: What?! Stop right there!
Aaron: Do you have a key to the cell?
Dark Slave of Evil: No
Aaron: Than I'm not stopping, have a nice day.
Dark Slave of Evil: D'oh!

*Aaron walks to the center of the hall, he approaches a stand*

Aaron: ... Well isn't that nice ... it's a directory to the Keep!
Horhey: Tight slice-dog
Aaron: Okay now that doesn't even make sense!!!
Horhey: Quiet bitch before I bussa-cap in yo' face
Aaron: What cap?
Horhey: F*g
Aaron: What did you call me? ... No nevermind I don't even care just ... shut-up

*Aaron looks at the directory, finds a circular sticker that reads "If you didn't know your here than your a moron" Aaron removes the sticker and places it in the box that says 'Undeclared Supreme Ruler of the Universe Dark Lord Tridus' Bedroom' Suddenly Aaron and Horhey appear inside Chris' Closet inside a shirt*

Horhey: Quit touching me h*mo
Aaron: Look, I don't like men okay! Quit implying that!
Horhey: Nerd
Aaron: Yeah so? Who makes all the money today? Nerds! So by the time I'm twenty I'll have ten times as much money than you and be able to crush you like a bug!
Horhey: ... Huh?
Aaron: *Mumbles something like 'Stupid Moron, he's an insult to the word skater'*

*Tear open Chris' $100 shirt and come out of his closet and enter Chris' room which is a total mess with empty Chee-tohs, Salt & Vineger potato chip bags. On a night-stand next to the bed a bottle of ketchup lay on it's side and drips ketchup onto the carpet.*

Aaron: Good god! This room is a mess ... jeez it stinks, Tisk tisk, this room really needs a womans touch ... That's your job retard-o *Looks at Horhey*
Horhey: Shut up qu**r
Aaron: Whatever, I wonder if his laptop is in here.

*Horhey pokes Aaron in the back of the neck*

Aaron: Stop that
Horhey: Stop what? *Horhey does it again*
Aaron: That!
Horhey: I'm not doing anything ... your messed up.
Aaron: Moron

*Aaron walks towards bedroom door, he opens it to reveal a very deep pit.*

Aaron: Good god! It's an infinate abyss of darkness in which you fall for all eternaty!
Horhey: *Horhey runs to Aaron he says "Hey Dawg I found this video right here it's named 'Indian Wars' I think it's a skino-max movie wanna watch b*tch?" Stops at the edge of the Abyss. "Hey tight bizatch!"
Aaron: No.
Horhey: *Cough* Fa**ot *Cough*
Aaron: That is it!!! *Pushes Horhey into the abyss*
Horhey: *Echoes* Geeeek
Aaron: Moron *Turns around pushes a button next to the door, a bridge extends across the abyss, Aaron walks along it*
Aaron: Now where do I go? Hmm ... *Looks a up about 5 degrees and sees a big sign framed in 14K gold reading "Dark Lord Tridus' Office" Aaron starts to jog to the office, but runs into a tall man wearing armor, turns to see a man in a blue suit talking to the night*
Knight: ... What is your name?
Aaron: *Cough* Rip-Off! *Cough*
Man in Suit: Bob
Knight: ... What is your quest?
Man in Suit: ... Quest?

*The floor boards beneath the man spring up and send the man through an opening in the roof.

Man in Suit: Ahhhhhhh!
Aaron: May I enter his office?
Knight: ... What is your name?
Aaron: I don't know! It's only been written in the stupid story fifty thousand times!
Knight: Your right ... it is a stupid sketch, it's the same stupid thing over and over, I mean Horhey! What a stupid character. Any-Way ... What is your quest?
Aaron: I seek to reset the anonymous permissions
Knight: What is your favorite color?
Aaron: Yellow
Knight: Can a swallow carry a coconut from Africa to Europe?
Aaron: Well is it an African swallow or a northern European swallow?
Knight: I ... Don't ... know ...

*Floorboards spring up and shoot the Knight into the opening*

Knight: Ahhhhhhh!
Aaron: ... Whatta cop-off ...

*Aaron opens the office door and see's a glass case with a laptop inside it spinning on a rotory base. The case is engulfed in a ray of heavenly light, Aaron looks up to see that it's just a neon light hanging on chains above the case, he looks to the left to see Chris in a large office chair talking on the phone*

Undeclared Ruler of the Universe Dark Lord Tridus: What do you mean impossible?! If I want a personal jet pack I'm gonna get a personal jet pack! *Pause for response* Yeah well maybe I am insane but your dead! *Pushes a red button marked "Goons"* Now back to more important stuff. *Takes out a Yo-Yo* Look at it! You trow it away and it keeps coming back! Haha ... Ha! *PA Systems turns on ... "Lord Tridus you are wanted in the Sub-Level dungeon there's a slave that wants you to open his cage, he says two guys are running around your Keep* ... Rats! Can't anybody do anything with out me? *Gets up and walks away*

Aaron: Finally I can get the laptop.

*Aaron walk into the room, suddenly a laser pops-up around the glass case surrounding the laptop.*

Aaron: Damn *Aaron approaches the case* I have to use all my skill to get this laptop. *Aaron twiddles his fingers, waits a second than punches the case open, an alarm goes off, Aaron claps twice and the alarm stops* What kinda moron hooks an alarm up to a clapper?! *Aaron grabs the laptop and turns it on. The operating system loads in about a minute*

*After the computer loads Aaron access' Chris' work server and opens the Forum directory*

Aaron: Wow ... fast. *Aaron trys to figure out how to change permissions for anonymous users* I guess I'll just have to flip through all the files and try to find the code. Hmm I guess I'll start here ... Styles.inc

Aaron: *Looks through the code* What the hell is this?! This doesn't even make sense! Look at all these ampersands they shouldn't be here! *Deletes about 20 &'s* There that's better. *Re-Uploads file to the Server* Lets see if this works ... *Loads site and trys to login as anon. A message comes up reading "You can't access the forum you dirty anonymous filthy de-generate scum!"* Damn ... hey ... why is it in the WizDom layout??? Well can't worry about that now. I wonder if the Administration account has any abilitys to change the permission.

*Goes back to the the login page types in for the Username "Dark Lord Tridus" and types in for the password "Hoser"*

Aaron: I wonder if this works ... *Aaron clicks Submit, next page comes up reading "You were logged in successfully Dark Lord Tridus! You can now proceed back to the Thread list, or maybe to your User Configuration"* Woo-Hoo! *Aaron clicks thread list. Aaron See's 30,000,000 Election posts.* Hmm ... this looks interesting ... *Aaron looks at the Admin button next to the FAQ button. He clicks it, He comes to the Admin page, he clicks on 'Update user info'* This is it! This is gonna be it!!! *Types in the username box 'Anonymous' and clicks Edit, the Edit page comes up and he see's the 'Update Profile button and clicks it.* Well nothing else I can do ... I hope that fixed it ...

*Aaron goes back to the login page and trys to log in as an Anon, the successfull login page appears ... and the people rejoiced*

Anons: *Monotone voice* ... yay ...
Aaron: Yay ... well ... Hmm I guess I gotta go back now.

*Tridus and the slave from the dunjeon burst into the office*

Slave: There he is Master look he reset Anon permissions too!
Undeclared Ruler of the Universe Dark Lord Tridus: Oh ... don't worry we'll take care of him my little underling ... we'll take care of him soon enough. *Chris' eyes turn dark red.*

To Be Continued ...

... I wanna be president! Whaaa!

Escape from Dark Lord Tridus' Keep: Part II - Un-King WizardSlayer - 2000-03-04 00:00:00
-Muhahahaha! (quick little continuation) - Tridus - 2000-03-05 00:00:00
-oh my... looks like I get to torture you now. How fun for me. :) - Tridus - 2000-03-05 00:00:00