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The worst movie EVER is on TV and I am getting ANGRY! ARRRGH!!!

Author: SM_007 ()
Date: 2000-04-23 00:00:00

On the Space channel, they just started showing a movie called "ZarDoz" or something that was equally stereotypical of a science fiction film. In any event, it starts off with a black background, and a man's floating head is there. He is wearing a phaoroah-ish hat, and he basically says that he's the puppet master and that God is in the entertainment business (the dialogue and general look of the floating head was pretty damn cheesy in itself). The guy also says that he'll be dead soon, but he cannot die since he is ageless, and that sorta redundant tripe. It then cuts to a battlefield, where a GIGANTIC FLOATING HEAD MADE FROM ROCK is hovering around (with poorly done effects), and then all of the soldiers run up to it and start begging it for weapons. It says that the penis is evil and that guns are good (the voice is done by Sean Connery, I might want to mention), talks about that for a few minutes (despite the fact that it's totally blabbering and making no general sense at all), then spits some guns out of it's inanimate (sp) mouth. The soldiers take the weapons, pray to it a bit more, then run off. Then the credits roll, five minutes after the movie starts.

I walked away, but my brother told me that the movie is still going. They just decided to put the credits up at the beginning of the movie while the floating head is floating around, I s'pose. Also, it is now showing Sean Connery, and he seems to have snuck into the floating rock head (somehow, considering it is hundreds of feet in the air) and has now found a whoke bunch of nekked bodies wrapped in plastic inside of the head, inconscious. The worst part of this is that Sean is also doing the voice for the head as well as his own. Urgh. Okay, NOW, from what I see, Sean Connery's character is an "Exterminator," who is a guy who runs around exterminating women (who, so far, have been topless), in the name of Zardoz (which doesn't explain why he snuck into Zardoz's head in the first place - oh well). His character also wears red underwear and carries an old pistol, despite the fact that the story takes place thousands of years in the future. Blarg.

*Turns off his TV, and cleanses himself of the evil.*

SM_007
Virtue mine honour

The worst movie EVER is on TV and I am getting ANGRY! ARRRGH!!! - SM_007 - 2000-04-23 00:00:00
-Oh god, I think I've seen this before! - Psycho Sam! - 2000-04-23 00:00:00
-yikes! that does sound really really really bad! why do they make stuff like that anyway? - Tridus - 2000-04-23 00:00:00
--I'm assuming that Sean Connery really, really, really, REALLY needed the money. - SM_007 - 2000-04-23 00:00:00
---Or maybe he was just very very drunk. - Psycho Sam! - 2000-04-23 00:00:00
--Maybe it was good when it was made. In any case, I think I'll put on a REAL movie. - Psycho Sam! - 2000-04-23 00:00:00