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Daily Political Show with Political Analyst SM_007

Author: SM_007 ()
Date: 2000-03-03 00:00:00

*The CNN logo and the opening credits go by as normal, showing flashing images of the posters running in the election spliced with shots of SM_007 dancing around on a table with a lampshade on his head while wearing his boxer shorts. Finally, the credits finish and the house lights life to show a blue and silver desk with SM_007 sitting behind it.*

SM_007: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Well, a lot sure has happened since yesterday. Being so close to the actual voting day, the potential presidents are pulling out all of the stops in an effort to make their opponents look bad. And boy oh boy, have we had controversy today! Let's take a look at a special update on Sid6.9 and Tridus, who were both on the show yesterday. But first, a quick recap...

*Still images of what happened on the show yesterday are shown. We see a shot of Sid6.9 giving money to the crowd, Tridus handing over his wallet, and Psycho Sam! attacking everyone with a chainsaw. The stills disappear as we see SM_007 attempting to put a whole stick of butter in his mouth. When he sees the camera, he spits it out and wipes his face on his sleeve.*

SM_007: Certainly a shocking moment yesterday when Psycho Sam! attacked Edge, Sid6.9 and Tridus. Luckily, Edge was okay and everyone else cleared the set before Sam! could do any real damage. However, since that show yesterday, we have recieved shocking news concerning both Tridus and Sid6.9.

*SM_007 removes his shoe and then throws it at the camera before turning to look at another camera. When he does so, a large picture of Sid6.9 graces the screen. In the picture, Sid6.9 is seen shoving a small child into a sewer and grinning demonically.*

SM_007: Suspected mafia leader Sid6.9 has announced today that he is removing himself from the presedential race. Although he did not state specific reasons, he did make allusion to the fact that he was not prepared to go against the hired goons that he himself is suspected of purchasing in the first place. We will most definitely bring you more on this story as it develops.

*SM_007 throws his dirty sock at the camera before turning to another monitor, where a picture of Tridus appears. In the picture, Tridus is seen holding his laptop triumphantly above his head as a beam of white, holy light shines down on him.*

SM_007: It seems that Tridus has come under suspicion today, as it was revealed that he may have been attempting to rig the election which he has been foolishly given responsibility over. Proof of this has been brought forth by CNN anchorperson, and may I add, someone who can't hold a candle to my abilities in the field of journalism, Sarah Karigan. Sarah also believed that she had proof that Tridus had hired the goons as well as was responsible for censoring the election, though her transmission was cut off before we could hear any more. Coincidence? I am sorry, folks, but even I can't hold my tongue when it comes to Tridus' evil, horrible schemes. I hope he burns in hell.

*SM_007 immediately snaps back into a smile as he leaps up from his desk and moonwalks his way over to the other part of the set, where there is three leather chairs set up. He sits down and looks into the camera.*

SM_007: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight for our very special head-to-head interview, we will be speaking with MysteryMan and Striker. MysteryMan is popular with many posters as he has always wanted a position of respect. He has always been campaigning to be a part of the community and to help people out. Also, MysteryMan speaks all in quotes when he posts, which makes other posters feel giddy. Striker, on the other hand, is even more unusual. He has a tendency to be incoherent and to make wild accusations, earning him the name "cRaZy MoRoN." However, he is so crazy that sometimes he is downright loveable. Will this propel him to become the new President of the Project Sigma forum? Many shudder at the thought, which is precisely why he might win.

*The camera zooms out as two men make their way onto the set.*

SM_007: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Striker and MysteryMan!

*One of the men has messy blond hair, and is wearing a grey t-shirt with blue shorts. The other man has braces, a black t-shirt, and red shorts. They both walk on the set and start laughing. One of them picks his nose.*

SM_007: Hey, waitaminute! You aren't Striker and MysteryMan! SECURITY!

Beavis: Heh heh, hey Butthead, he said "sex."

SM_007: No I didn't!

Beavis: Shutup, fartknocker. Heh heh... poop!

SM_007: Urgh! Where's MysteryMan?

Butthead: Uh... I don't know. Maybe he like had diarhea, huh huh huh.

Beavis: Yeah, heh heh heh. Diarhea, cha cha cha, diarhea, cha cha cha...

SM_007: What the hell are you two talking about? GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!

Butthead: Heh heh, no way, fartknocker.

SM_007: Quit calling me that!

*Suddenly, a crazy man with a chainsaw runs in the room and cuts off Beavis' arm.*

Beavis! AHHHH! MY ARM!

Butthead: Heh heh, cool.

*The man runs after Butthead, who runs off. Beavis runs into the crowd, dripping blood all over everyone, who scream and leave.*

SM_007: Oh my God! This is almost as bad as that time we had Friendly Ben on the show!

*The room is now void of people.*

SM_007: Well, I don't know what the hell just happened, folks. Maybe we will have MysteryMan or Striker on the show tomorrow, then.

*SM_007 starts weeping, and leaves the set as the credits roll.*

SM_007

Daily Political Show with Political Analyst SM_007 - SM_007 - 2000-03-03 00:00:00
-Note: - rRaminrodt - 2000-03-03 00:00:00
--Yeah, hehe, whoops... :) - SM_007 - 2000-03-03 00:00:00
-hahahahahaha!!!!! - Adun975 - 2000-03-03 00:00:00
-"Someone must have hired these two men..." **Looks at Dark Lord Tridus** - Reed - 2000-03-03 00:00:00
--Well it wasn't me! That's for sure ... *looks worrily at everybody else* - Un-King WizardSlayer - 2000-03-03 00:00:00