A Goon
One treats others with courtesy not because they are gentlemen or gentlewomen, but because you are.
- G. Henrichs
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Author: SM_007 ()
Date: 2000-04-11 00:00:00

Well, you can consider this the end of my long-standing record of writing post box stories. I actually wrote this story over a period of a couple o' days, since I really needed to get information on all of the different characters in the storyverse and where they are at the moment. Anyhoo, enjoy the storee!


(BandWidth woke up to the sound of a tap dripping. As the dark room around him slowly stopped spinning over the course of several long minutes, he realized that he couldn't see anything at all. Total darkness, aside from a loose lightbuld above him, swinging back and forth. He tried to move, but realized that his arms and legs were bounded to a chair. He began to panic, when he heard a door opening.)

(He heard footsteps and the sound of a quiet motor buzzing. The footsteps and the whirring noise stopped as Psycho Sam!, Fabuloso McWilly and Psycho Bot! all walked in front of BandWidth. Psycho Sam! and Fabuloso McWilly were grinning ear to ear.)

Psycho Sam!: Hello, Mr. President.

(BandWidth squinted his eyes and looked at the figures right in front of him.)

BandWidth: Psycho Sam!? Ungh, my head. What is going on here?

Psycho Sam!: Oh, you know, the usual. I am going to have my new bodyguard, Fabuloso McWilly, torture you in ways you can't even imagine. And after you're dead, I am going to take your place as President of Riptide, a position which should have been mine all along!

BandWidth: Why do you think they'll let you back in power?

Psycho Sam!: That's easy! I'll tell them that you're still alive. And they'll search and search and search for you, but never find you. No one knows where we are. But I will tell them that if they don't make me President, I will kill you, so they'll have no choice! And the beauty of this is that you'll already be dead! No one will know! It's pure genius!

BandWidth: Where am I, anyway?

Psycho Sam!: My lab, you idiot! My lab in the swamp!

BandWidth: But...isn't your lab just outside of Riptide HQ?

Psycho Sam!: Right! It's the last place anyone would suspect!

(BandWidth rolls his eyes, then looks back at a gleeful Psycho Sam!, and becomes enraged.)

BandWidth: You'll never get away with this, you sick freak! Communism will prevail!

Psycho Sam!: And how do you think that?

BandWidth: Because the minute I was made President, I wrote up some papers that stated that if I ever die, the immediate replacement for my throne will be Basin, who reminds me a lot of a young me, might I add...

Psycho Sam!: Basin, eh...?

[Outside of Riptide HQ.]

(Basin, wearing his usual white porcelin armor with doodles all over it, Ravage!, wearing millions and millions of guns, strapped all overhos body, and rRaminrodt, well, looking like rRaminrodt, walked up to the building and looked up at the many stories.)

Ravage!: Guess we oughta start our search here.

Basin: Ja! Wir müssen BandWidth finden! Er ist unser Führer!

Ravage!: Yeah, right, whatever.

rRaminrodt: Guys, I am pretty damn sure the President isn't in here!

Ravage!: Uh, why? You know something we don't?

rRaminrodt: Well, I know for a fact that if he were in here, he wouldn't be missing, now would he?

Ravage: Yeah, well, we can, um, like, look for clues and stuff.

(rRaminrodt shurgs and follows Ravage! into the building.)

Basin: Ich hatte gerade eine leuchtende Idee! Wir müssen nach unserem geliebten Führer und Freund BandWidth innerhalb dieses Gebäudes suchen, in dem er arbeitet! Möglicherweise ist er in diesem Gebäude die gesamte Zeit gewesen! Selbst wenn BandWidth nicht in diesem Gebäude ist, konnten wir können, Anhaltspunkte hinsichtlich seines realen Standorts zu finden. März vorwärts!

(Basin runs behind them into the building as well.)

[Outside of RStefan01.com.]

(lil bo shepherd was rocking back and forth in an old, creaky chair on the porch. He looked at his crooked shepherd cane, and pondered why he was left to look after SoulTaker, who was screaming in the basement; screaming many voices, at all once. The endless screams kept changing pitch, and sounded as if more than one person was screaming at a time...and it was a sound that horrified lil bo shepherd.)

(lil bo shepherd regained his senses when he heard a loud crash of thunder. He looked up at the darkening sky, and shook his head. He got up from his rocking chair and walked to the door of the old house, hoping to avoid the approaching storm.)

(But once lil bo shepherd entred the house, he realized where the true storm really was. The screams had now become so loud that they almost made lil bo shepherd go mad listening to them. He began to hear loud banging noises coming from the cellar door. Boom, boom, boom. He covered his years and squinted. Something was definitely wrong with SoulTaker, and SoulTaker was trying to escape the cellar, endlessly pounding on the cellar door.)

(Covering his years and crouching in the doorframe, lil bo shepherd came back to when the pounding suddenly stopped completely. He got to his feet, very curious as to what was going on. He began to slowly tiptoe down the old hallway, the only sound being his footsteps creaking on the old wood. Before he got around the corner to the cellar door, though, a loud crashing noise made him scream and run straight out the front door of the building. The door to the cellar had been thrown way of its hinges.)

(lil bo shepherd ran down the old street, and hoped on an old bike he saw. He rang the bell a couple of times, and then began to speed down the old road, away from the house. He didn't even look back. He knew he had to warn the guys at Riptide HQ that something was wrong with SoulTaker.)

[A book depository outside of Riptide HQ.]

(Across the street from Riptide HQ, an black luxary car pulled up in front of an old book depository. Inside of the car was the cloned agent, who was driving, along with SM_007 and Albatross in the back seat.)

SM_007: Why are we stopped here?

Albatross: The current confusion is distracting everyone from helping Tridus search for his laptop...just as I have forseen. In order to keep this people distracted, we are going to have the President assassinated.

SM_007: BandWidth?! Oh man... This isn't right, Albatross!

(Albatross coughed heavily, and then look back up at SM_007.)

Albatross: You know what is right. I don't have much time left...son.

(SM_007 looked sad, but decided.)

SM_007: Where is BandWidth, anyway?

Albatross: He is in that deserted science laboratory in the swamp.

(SM_007 was about to get out of the car when Albatross grabbed his arm. SM_007 spun around and looked at the old, dying man, who had a satisfied look on his face, as if he had just come to a realization.)

SM_007: What? What is it?

Albatross: You must eliminate Basin as well.

SM_007: Who?!

Albatross: Basin. He is the next in line for Presidency. Then eliminate BandWidth. This way, they will have no one to govern them without another election.

SM_007: Where is Basin?

Albatross: In Riptide's building.

SM_007: Excellent. This gives me an idea.

(SM_007 shut the door and headed towards the book depository, followed by the agent.)

[An old, dirt road.]

(RStefan01's jeep speeded down the old, abandoned highway. The Searcher, incredible large now that he was the Protoss/Zerg hybrid, was hunched over the wheel, growling under his breath as he guided the car with fury. RStefan01, who felt slightly nervous, was sitting in the back.)

RStefan01: So, where are we supposed to be going, anyway?

The Searcher: You shall soon see.

RStefan01: Well, since we're using my jeep, I'd like to know what this is about.

The Searcher: There is...someone I need to see. Something I need to take care of.

RStefan01: Oh. Okay.

(RStefan01 wasn't okay with it at all, but he knew better than to anger the Searcher, who was on a mission. He looked out the window at the passing scenery, and realized that they were going in the direction of Riptide HQ. RStefan01 simply wondered who the Searcher would need to see there, and why.)

[Down the street from Riptide HQ.]

(Tridus was walking towards Riptide HQ. He left RStefan01.com when he couldn't stand to hear lil bo shepherd babbling on and on about how great cows were, and he knew he cared more about Sashie than anything else in the world anyway. He knew that one of the biggest pieces to that puzzle was what happened to SM_007, and why he abandoned the team when they needed him the most. Where was he? And why weren't people concerned?)

(The thought that people didn't care about the founding father of Riptide, and the thought that they were wrapped up with more trivial concerns than the life of his friend, disgusted him. But disgusted as he was, he remembered SM_007 getting into that car with the agent and the old man, and that thought disgusted him as well. And through all of this madness and confusion, Sashie's name kept popping up in his head. He needed to find her. And soon.)

(Tridus was only a dozen or so metres away from Riptide HQ, when he saw that same old man he remembered getting into the front seat of a black luxary car. He was filled with rage, and began charging at the vehicle. When he was almost at it, it peeled off, and drove down the street, turned a corner, and was gone once again from Tridus' life. He stopped, panting from his dash, and looked at the building it was parked in front of. It was the old book depository. Tridus kicked the old door open and went inside.)

[Psycho Sam!'s shack in the swamp.]

(BandWidth was thouroughly bored...and afraid. He didn't know where Psycho Sam! and Fabuloso McWilly were, but he knew that the damn annoying bot of his was staring at him.)

BandWidth: Hey, there, little fella. Want to do me a favour?

Psycho Bot!: I don't care! I'm a bot!

BandWidth: So, is that a yes?

Psycho Bot!: Um, did someone say my name?

BandWidth: No.

(Psycho Bot! looked confused.)

BandWidth: Well, why don't you help me? Surely you can't enjoy working for Psycho Sam!.

Psycho Bot!: Psycho Sam! created me. Did someone say his name?

(BandWidth sighed.)

BandWidth: Look, turn off those damn auto responses already!

(Psycho Bot! made a low beeping noise.)

Psycho Bot!: Done.

BandWidth: Hey! You actually listened to me!

Psycho Bot!: Of course! Anyone can command me! Only, no one has ever become friendly enough with me to find out. It ain't easy bein' a bot with auto responses as your only comfort towards friends. No one likes me. No one can ever stand me long enough to find out about me...

BandWidth: Well, if you let me outta here, I'll be your friend.

Psycho Bot!: Really?! You mean it?!

BandWidth: Of course!

(Psycho Bot! began to make its way over to BandWidth's chair, and a small pair of scissors emerged from one side of the box. BandWidth smiled as the bot began to happily cut the ropes to BandWidth's chair.)

[Outside of Riptide HQ.]

(Psycho Sam!, wielding his chainsaw, walked up to the Riptide HQ building. He was followed by Fabuloso McWilly.)

Fabuloso McWilly: Hey, boss, I don't think leaving BandWidth alone is a such a good idea...

(Psycho Sam! raised his arm up in front of Fabuloso.)

Psycho Sam!: You just don't understand how evil works, do you? Besides, Psycho Bot! is there just in case BandWidth gets any wise ideas. Now c'mon, we need to go in there and kill Basin so he can't be the next President once we kill BandWidth.

(They both enter Riptide HQ.)

[Riptide HQ's main office.]

(Edge sat alone in the boardroom, drinking a coffee and thinking. Edge was trying to put all of the pieces together - attempting to make order out of the chaos which was the lives of everyone around him. He sighed, and looked up at the clock on the wall. It was ticking louder than usual...)

[Outside of Riptide HQ.]

(A familier jeep stopped, and both the Searcher and RStefan01 got out. The Searcher looked up at the building, seeming concerned. Before RStefan01 could question what the Searcher was doing, the Searcher ran inside the front door of the building. RStefan01 instinctivly followed suit.)

[Inside the book depository.]

(Tridus ran up the stairs to the top floor, and was shocked to see SM_007 and the agent standing at the window. The agent had a sniper rifle pointed out the window, aiming into the boardroom window of Riptide HQ. When Tridus entered the room, SM_007 spun around, and they both looked at each other in shock.)

SM_007: Tridus!

Tridus: What the hell is going on here?!

(SM_007 turned pale.)

SM_007: Tridus, I won't tell you this again. You have to leave right now.

Tridus: You know I am not leaving without my laptop, and some answers.

(Tridus began walking menacingly towards SM_007, who looked very nervous.)

SM_007: Tridus! Leave!

(Suddenly, the agent with the sniper rifle spun around, and shot. Since the sniper rifle was silenced, the shot was silent...but it wasn't silent to Tridus and SM_007. The bullet went straight through Tridus' chest, near his shoulder. Tridus slumped down on the ground, grasping at his shoulder which was pooling blood onto the ground. The agent aimed down at Tridus' crumpled body, and prepared to take another shot - when he was interrupted by SM_007's hand clutching his shoulder.)

SM_007: No! Leave him! There's, um...not enough time.

(The agent frowned at SM_007.)

Agent: Albatross will not be pleased.

SM_007: Leave that to me...

Tridus: Alba...Alba...tross...Alba...tross...Ungh...

(Tridus rolled onto his back, repeating the name.)

SM_007: He's going into shock.

Agent: He knows too much.

SM_007: Let's just leave. Abort the mission to kill Basin.

Agent: We must kill Basin, and then BandWidth.

SM_007: We'll do it some other time! That's an order! Let's go!

(SM_007 briskly walked out of the room, followed by the agent, who eyed Tridus menacingly on his way out. There eyes met as the agent closed the door to the room. Tridus couldn't move. He just stared into space, repeating the name which he had just learned.)

[Outside of Riptide HQ.]

(BandWidth, followed by Psycho Bot!, entered the building.)

[Riptide HQ's main office.]

(Edge was standing on a chair, examing the clock on the wall. He pulled off the face of the clock, and noticed that in the circutry, there was a small, clear ball with green gell on the inside of it. It was bubbling. At the top of the ball, a few small red wires ran along the circutry and were connected to the hands of the clock. Edge had never seen any device like this before, though he was pretty sure what it was.)

(Just as Edge was about to disconnect the wires from the hands of the clock, a knocking at the door scared him and he fell off the chair. Edge crashed on the floor with a thud, and passed out from the pain. The knocking on the door became more and more urgent.)

Ravage!: Hello?! Anyone in there?! The door is locked! Someone open up...

Basin: Wir müssen BandWidth, unseren Führer finden! Hey, was tickt das? Es klingt wie eine Bombe. Eine Bombe! Eine Bombe! Wir müssen laufen! Es ist eine Bombe...

Ravage!: Shut up! You know I don't understand a word you're saying! Now help me open this door...

[Outside of Riptide HQ.]

(lil bo shepherd crashed his bike on the ground, and rolled off of it, scraping his knees. He didn't care; he was in a mad rush to find the nearest Riptide representative and warn them of the danger they were in. The only problem was that he, himself, didn't know the true danger. He jumped to his feet and ran inside the Riptide HQ building.)

[Outside of the book depository.]

(Just as SM_007 and the agent stepped outside, their ride pulled up, in the form of the black luxary automobile. They immediately got inside the car, and just as they did so, a loud thunder could be heard from inside of Riptide HQ. It was growing louder, and very rapidly so.)

SM_007: What the...?

Albatross: That's the sound of the building being decimated.

SM_007: Decimated?! Isn't everyone in there?!

Albatross: They won't all die.

(SM_007 had tears in his eyes as the building started collapsing into dust. The car pulled away from the curb and drove off just as rubble, fire, dust and glass flew across the street, where the car was parked. The building continued falling into debris; debris which was flying in any and all directions.)

[Inside the book depository.]

(Tridus was still faint, and was mumbling Sashie's name as he asked her to give him medical supplies. He woke up from his trance, and remembered where he was, to the deafening sound of rolling thunder. He crawled away from the small pool of blood forming underneath his arm to the nearby window, and pulled himself up with one arm on the windowframe. There, he saw the Riptide building collapsing for a few seconds, and then he fell back down on the ground, unable to move.)

Tridus: Oh God... Oh my God...

To be continued.

Changes by this storee:


(STORYVERSE STOREE) Whodunnit? - SM_007 - 2000-04-11 00:00:00
-Dear god no! - Anonymous - 2000-04-11 00:00:00
-sweeetttttt... that ruled! - Tridus - 2000-04-11 00:00:00
-cool =) - RStefan01 - 2000-04-11 00:00:00
-Super-Duper-Keen! - BandWidth - 2000-04-11 00:00:00
-Excellent... Most excellent. Me like. Me want more... - SoulTaker - 2000-04-11 00:00:00
--Well, they are, or were, all converged on one location now. >:) - SM_007 - 2000-04-11 00:00:00
---Well, you're right... - SoulTaker - 2000-04-11 00:00:00
----Those who don't understand should use the AltaVista Babelfish translator; what he says is important. - SM_007 - 2000-04-11 00:00:00
-----/me likes Babelfish =) - SoulTaker - 2000-04-11 00:00:00