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Just another Sunday at the Death Matches?

Author: Sid6.9 ()
Date: 2000-02-27 00:00:00

(In character post about the death matches)

It is a bright and sunny day in Irvine CA. Industrial district, many people are milling about over the excitement that they heard on Saturday that the death matches were having an open house. Many people are milling about outside admiring the brand new Death Match arena, and its silver dome. Most though have meandered inside and are looking at the many things to do there.

Ring toss around Y2T’s broken stick is probably the most popular game, as this is the only time the death match fans get a chance to get close enough to the famed 100 List Tridus Silly Stick.

The tackle the Peak_Man doll gives the War Room forumers the chance, and the only realistic chance to tackle and beat up Peak_Man.

The Flutie beer smash is a game that most of the degenerates hang around at, testing their drunken skills at crushing a beer can upside their heads.

The Big Sexy Experience is one that all the girls hang out at. Not much is known what the game is all about, as girls enter the tent one at a time and exit out of a different one with their hair and clothes messed up. But man oh man do they leave with smiles on their faces…

The out talk Master Sidious, Master of Ceremonies games is fun for aspiring talk journalist in that they try to out do Master Sidious’s commentaries on the Death Matches of old. To this date, no one has come close to comparing to MS.

Many of the forumers though after playing the games, find their way eventually down the halls of hero’s hall of fame. Where many pictures of the previous battles hang, as well as pictures of losers with their date of death shown and who killed them. The Forumers make there way down from that hall and into the death match arena, where they can get into the ring and try to imitate their favorite Death Match superstar, and dream of someday getting in the ring themselves and kill, hopefully, said superstar.

The fans are mingling outside of the ring, when suddenly the lights inside the Death Match arena suddenly go out. Just as soon as that happens though sounds of breaking glass can be heard as the nWd theme music begins to blare out of the speakers…

Most of the fans either jumped off the stage, or were thrown off as the nWd’s Peak_Man, British, Flutie, and Deathwish DDW make their way out. Deathwish immediately starts kicking those unlucky newby forumers that couldn’t get off the stage area soon enough. Peak_Man giggles to himself as he sees all the forumers scatter away from him. British just scowls and lifts his head up high at all the peons (As he likes to call them) around him. Flutie walks to the ring with purpose, ignoring all the War Room forumers.

The NWD makes its way into the ring, as the forumers there depart rather hastily. British grabs up a mic and proceeds to lay the verbal smackdown, as they say…

British- All right you bloody yanks, shut yer traps and listen up, we are the nWd and you will listen to what we say. I said shut your bleeding word holes!!!

The forumers just start chanting “A-holes, A-holes, A-holes” at the nWd, as British and Deathwish go nuts at this. Flutie just sits back and relaxes against the ropes guzzling down a couple brewskies. Peak_Man meanwhile is sitting in the middle of the ring, playing with his toes.

British- I said shut the heck up or I’ll find out where you all live and go and kill all your families!! When the nWd is in the ring, you pay attention!

The crowd settles down due to British’s threats of family violence…

Deathwish DDW (Grabs the mic from British)- And finally, Deathwish DDW has returned to the Warrrrrr Rrrroooooommmmm! * The fans just stare with their mouths open *

Deathwish just looks around and then to the mic which he shakes it. Looks at Flutie and says something which just causes Flutie to shrug…

Deathwish DDW- All right, let me try this again, maybe you nimrods just aren’t used to the real use of the gimmick. And finally, Deathwish DDW has returned DDW has returned to the War-r-r-r-r R-r-r-r-r-o-o-o-o-m-m-m-m!

Once again the fans don’t respond to Flutie, in fact they have gone back to conversing amongst themselves and ignore him all together.

Deathwish DDW- Hey there you Jabronies, you better listen to Deathwish DDW or the Smackdown Hotel is going to smack up or, wait, is that I’ll put you in the Smackdown Hotel on Jabronie road and put you in the….Ummm, wait, I know this one, hold on….

The crowd realizing who he is trying to imitate start to chant, “Edge, Edge, Edge, Edge” much to the dismay of Deathwish.

Deathwish- Shut the hell up you freaks. I said stop it! Damn it stop it!

Deathwish gets visible upset and throws the mic to the ground, causing enormous feedback, as he storms out of the ring and towards the exit.

Peak_Man seeing the mic picks it up and starts to nibble on it…

Flutie (Grabbing the mic out of Peak_Man’s mouth)- Ewwww, Peak drool, that’s, ugh. British get me another mic. * As he hands the other one back to Peak_Man who promptly places it back inside his mouth. *

Flutie (With a clean mic)- All right you little corn suckers, you all better listen up, and listen good. We are back, and baby, we are still in charge. With that freak SM_007 dead, and with Sid6.9 being a scared little rabbit from us. We are taking over once again. And I have some rules to this new administration.

Flutie walks to his right and looks at some kids sitting in the front row trading Pokemon cards…

Flutie- #1- There will be no geeks allowed in my death match arena, like these little freaks over here * As he waves his hand towards the kids sitting in the front row * Now take your geeky butts and scram, or I’ll have Peak sit on ya!

Flutie makes his way back to the center of the ring…

Flutie- Rule #2- There will be a stock supply of beer on hand at all times! * The crowd livens up and actually cheers this rule * Shut up you freaks, the beer is for me and my nWd boys. You little turds get to drink vitamin E milk, and nothing else. * The fans boo loudly at this *

Flutie smiles a bit as he brings the mic back up to his mouth…

Flutie- Rule #3- I shall be known now, as I am the true and only one, as Big Sexy Flutie. * The girls scream out loud “Big Sexy” * Yes, yes I know ladies

But before he can finish the ladies finish what they were screaming, “Stefan! The Human Love Machine!”

Flutie- Oh stop that, stop that now, I am the true Big Sexy, not that little freak!

Meanwhile inside the Big Sexy game tent, Big Sexy has a smile on his face…

Flutie- Rule #4- Every Friday will be beat down Y2T night! * The fans start stirring and start a chant of “Y2T, Y2T, Y2T” * All right have it your way, every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday will be beat down Y2T night! Want anymore days added, just keep it up!

Flutie waits for the crowd to continue chanting, but they die down…

Flutie- Rule #5- I shall also be referred to by all the men as…

But suddenly the music of AC/.DC’s “Big Balls” begins to play as Sid6.9 makes his entrance into the death match arena. The fans cheer this, as they’ve had little to cheer about today. Sid6.9, with mic in hand, makes his way down to the ringside area and into the ring, as British, Flutie, and Peak_Man all stand up and encircle Sid in a half circle…

Sid6.9 (Bringing the mic up)- All right Flutie, I’ve had enough of this crap that you are trying to pull…

Flutie- Oh I’m not done yet.

Sid6.9- Oh yes you are! You think I’m afraid of you and your simpleton freaks over here?

British takes a step forward as Flutie holds him back…

Sid6.9- Yeah, come on big man, come get some.

Flutie- Oh I wouldn’t say that there Sidister, British would own you bad, and you know it.

Sid6.9- Well lets just see him try!

And with that British, not wanting to hear anymore, dives straight into Sid6.9. But as he was to meet his shoulder into Sid6.9’s chest, but suddenly is reared up and begins to shake violently, as both Peak_Man and Flutie just look at one another in amazement. After a few seconds, British’s limp body hits the ground, as they see Sid holding up a cattle prod in his hand…

Sid6.9- Heh heh, my good friend at CWAL named Fron lent this to me, and I’d say from the looks on your faces that you all are a little shocked? Ha ha ha.

Flutie moves a little closer- You, I’m gonna…

Sid6.9 (Holds up the cattle prod)- Ah, ah, temper temper there Flutie. Wouldn’t want to have to see you do the electric slide like British had too, do ya?

Flutie just steps back and glares at Sid6.9.

Sid6.9- I didn’t think so, now blow out of here, now.

Flutie and Peak_Man just stare at Sid6.9 and don’t move…

Sid6.9- I said blow, now, I’m the boss and I said blow.

Flutie just smiles as he looks slightly to Sid6.9’s right. Sid6.9 notices that Flutie is looking behind him and turns just in time to see the shiny end of a chair from Deathwish meeting his head. Sid6.9 goes limp after the chair shot as the cattle prod goes sliding across the ring. Peak_Man hurries over and grabs up Sid into a bear hug, as Deathwish holds the chair in his hands. British, a little groggy, gets up and leans on the ropes, as Flutie picks up the cattle prod and looks at it…

Flutie- Nice toy there Sidister (To an unconscious Sid6.9).

Deathwish- Shock the monkey Flut. I say shock him good.

Peak_Man- Tee hee hee, his skin is soft, like a bunny rabbits.

Flutie (To Peak_Man)- Um Peak, don’t ruin the moment.

Sid6.9 starts to come around and realizes the trouble he is in…

Sid6.9- Okay, guys, ahhh ahhh, don’t, ouch, do anything you’ll, ow, regret.

Flutie- Oh no regrets Sid, see I have absolutely no regrets about anything. And I will not regret sticking this cattle prod up where the sun don’t shine and lighting you up like a Christmas tree. (As he starts to move closer activating the cattle prod and laughing manically.)

Suddenly though the lights to the Death Match arena go dark once again as a countdown clock appears on the DeathMatch-O-Vision, with Y2T above it…





Sid6.9- "If weird was a person, he'd be me!" :-)

Just another Sunday at the Death Matches? - Sid6.9 - 2000-02-27 00:00:00
-5... 4... 3... 2... 1... - Tridus - 2000-02-27 00:00:00
--*Tridus smiles* - The Lord DebtAngel - 2000-02-27 00:00:00