A Goon
Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
- Jack Handey
The year 2005 ends in 0 seconds
Modified: August 09 2006.
Hits: 7393064/11225411
User: Anonymous Coward
Time: 0.05 seconds.

Read Message

Digimon! Digital Monsters! Digimon are the... What the? Digimon? (Story of the Post Box variety)

Author: Psycho Sam! ()
Date: 2000-03-22 00:00:00

*Sitting in his office, thinking of ways to be cool, MM looked out his window to see Tridus, Psycho Sam!, and Psycho !Mas running towards Riptide HQ. MM thinks this to be odd and therefore runs downstairs to follow them*

MM- I wonder what they're doing. Shouldn't they be dumping radioactive goo into Orazath's lair? That's it, I'm following them.

*The Gang reaches Riptide HQ only to notice something odd right next to it. Next to the HQ is a large swamp that wasn't there before. In the swamp there are some very tall trees with what seem like platforms and bridges strung between them. Sitting in the middle of the swamp is...*

Psycho Sam!- My lab! I thought it'd never get here. Come on gang, let's go inside and check things out.

Tridus- Umm, aren't we KINDA busy right now? I don't think we have time to go in.

Psycho !Mas- Actually, I think we could probably find something useful in this laboratory. I say we go in.

*Sam walks up to the door and keys in his password*

Sam- Pal, come on, let me in dammit!

Pal- I can't do that Sam.

Sam- Why the hell not?

Pal- Because I absolutely desipise you! You came in and ruined the beautiful laboratory, you made the most pointles inventions, and you took out most of my emotions circuits to prop up the dining room table! There isn't even a dining room! Dagnabbit, if you didn't accidentally activate a swear filter on me, you'd get such a verbal beating! I would just...

SM_007- We're in. While the computer was talking I picked the lock. You don't mind, do you Pal?

Pal- Shut up.

*Everyone walks into the laboratory, down the stairs, past the useless inventions section and into the main control room*

Tridus- What the? Man, this place is a mess. What happened here? An explosion?

Pal- No, Rocket scientist Sam over there turned the cleaning staff into zombies and didn't bother cleaning the place himself. Sometimes I just want to rip his d...

Sam- That's enough of that now. Pal, could you tell us what's going on out there? What's with all the odd stuff that's been hapening?

Pal- Why don't you figure it out yorself you...

!Mas- Why are you so angry Pal? You don't really seem like anyones pal to me.

Pal- Well, sam over there, he used some of my emotions circuits to prop up that table over there. But of course he didn't know what he was doing and all I have now in the way of emotions is angry, bitter, depressed, vengeful, irritable, annoyed...

!Mas- I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?

Pal- You can kill Sam for me. Although that won't help MY problem...

Sam- OK, you just sit here and, umm, try and let your chocolately goodness rub off on the computer, kay?

!Mas- Sure, sounds like fun.

Sam- Great. Now, we gotta find something. Help me look.

SM_007- Umm, could we know what we're looking for before we try loo...

Sam- Hey, less chatter and more looking!

*The three looked around the laboratory looking for whatever Sam was trying to get them to look for and surprisingly, Tridus found it*

Tridus- Hey, isn't this that disc that those Ninjas stole? The one with my apple pie recepe on it?

Sam- Yeah, that's the one. Gimme gimme gimme.

Tridus- Hey, if the ninjas had it, what's it doing here?

*At that moment, the robot ninjas jumped out of the shadows and started throwing ninja stars at everything. They hit several computer systems and some large crates. They chased the four heros out of the laboratory and wen't back in. 3 minutes later the Robot Ninjas came running out as well, followed by a large swarm of foor long wasp like creatures. The creatures had gigantic fangs, large spikes, and very painful looking stingers. One of them stung a forumer who happened to be wandering by at the moment, and he began acting like a squirrel*

Pal- Dagnabbit! Sam can't even engineer a good virus! Dam, why the hell did he have to mess around with the lab? If my auto-guns were still active I'd...

*MM runs up only to dodge a swarm of large wasp like creatures*

MM- What the? Sam, what are you up to?

Sam- Umm, you see, I got bored one day and I just, umm, LOOK OVER THERE! MORE BEES! *Sam points at the swarm of creatures*

SM_007- Hmm, THat's not a good thing is it?

Tridus- No, it isn't.

*Very irritated, the large bugs swarmed our heroes and were ready to attack when a net dropped over the 5 and pulled them up into the trees. Shocked, they got up to see what had happened and noticet they were on a platform surrounded by small people wearing strange hats*

Small person*pointing at Sam*- You're the one who moved out village from the forest we lived in. What the hell did you do that? We liked those trees.

Sam- Umm, who are you? I don't remember having a civilzation living in the trees above my lab.

Small person- I am Ralf of the Forest Dwellers. we came through that portal in your laboratory. Apparently someone was fooling around with the setting snd left it on. That was probably you too, eh? Dang, why'd they ever trust you with a laboratory?

Sam- I, uhh, found it.

Ralf- Figures. You're gonna have to get out of here now, you can probably make it to the building next to us, we built a bridge.

Tridus- Now, why didn't I notice?

Ralf- I dunno.

*They all use the bridge to get into Riptide HQ, and Ralf went with them*

MM- Hey, why's this place so dark? Don't you guy ever pay to get lighting fixed?

Tridus- Hey, this is my office! How come I didn't notice that bridge? And waht's that hole doing in the door?

*Sure enough, there was a hole in the door, but the hole looked more like claw marks than anything else. SM_007 stepped out the door to see what was out there and a large set of teeth almost took his head off*

SM_007- I think there's something out there.

Sam- I volunteer !Mas to go see what it is. Go get em !Mas.

!Mas-*sigh*Oh well, here goes nothing... *!Mas steps out just to be eaten by whatever was outside the door*

!Mas(from inside the thing)- Dagnabbit!

*The creature burst through the wall into the office and stared at them for a while. Ralf shot some fireballs at it and SM_007 shot it with his pistol. Sam pulled out his chainsaw and shotgun and went at it at very close range.*

Sam- ARRGH! DIE! DIE!!!

*The creature slashed at Sam tearing his arm off and seding him flying into the wall. At this moment a small boy walks in wearing a red hat*

Boy(while holding a small device)- Psycho Sam! Go!

*As the boy said tihs, Sam started spinning on the spot. Weird lights and his name in both English and Japanese sterted swirling around him. Strange music was plaing in the background with people singing the same repetetive phrase over and over*

Psycho Sam!- Psycho Sam! digivolve to... *Psycho Sam suddenly grows 10 feet tall with very large claws the size of his forearm*
SUPER PSYCHO SAM!


Super Psycho Sam!- I can feel the power! Now you die you hideous beast!

*Super Psycho Sam launches some blasts of energy out of his claws causing the creature to go flying through the wall and onto the street below. Super Psycho Sam! de-evolves back into Plain old Psycho Sam!*

Sam- Woah, who are you kid?

Kid- I'm Ash Ketchup! And I'm going to be the worlds greates Digimon master! Psycho Sam! I chose... SHOE!

*everyone looks at eachother ald begins laughing. The screen starts shrinking into a small dot and the credits begin rolling. But half way through the credits, Psycho Sam burst out through the background*

Sam- I'm sorry you had to witness that but I thought the story was getting a bit long and I had to fit the title in there somewhere. Sorry, it won't happen next time. I promise.

THE END... For now.

I am Sam!
Psycho Sam!
Do you like fried eggs and spam???

Digimon! Digital Monsters! Digimon are the... What the? Digimon? (Story of the Post Box variety) - Psycho Sam! - 2000-03-22 00:00:00
-'Look. Bees!' - The Lord DebtAngel - 2000-03-22 00:00:00
-Re:Digimon! Digital Monsters! Digimon are the... What the? Digimon? (Story of the Post Box variety) - Tridus - 2000-03-22 00:00:00