A Goon
"Don't forget, only you can prevent Balor Fires!" Said to the an adventuring party by a Magical Bear that could talk, with a +5 Shovel.
- An Unfamous DM
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Another quick note...

Author: SM_007 ()
Date: 2000-03-19 00:00:00

This, too, applies to your character being ultra-powerful, but deals with a seperate issue. We have never met your guy before, and when he came in with his magic broom, instantly destroyed the villain, and saved Shashie's life, sure, we'd be thankful. You basically just said who you were and how you were waiting for this right time to make your appearance, and then Tridus hugged you, like you were an old friend. Tridus has a character that would never HUG anyone, and it's even more unusual that he'd hug this guy who he has never met or seen or heard of before. You have to work your character in, but also try to make the characters more realistic in the sense that they don't instantly adapt to whatever you say. It can be tough sometimes, for me, at least, to remember how each character would act in a situation, but it's essential to do so. Anyway, I don't mean to add too much to this and again, please don't take offense. You have some great ideas and your story wasn't that bad, it just wasn't what we should have seen this early on. Thanks you listening to this advice; I was in the same place you were, once, when it comes to writing.

We may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us.

the death of Orazath... - Adun975 - 2000-03-19 00:00:00
-You had better not have tried to mess things up on purpose... - Reed - 2000-03-19 00:00:00
--Ok....expanding time... - Reed - 2000-03-19 00:00:00
-Um... - SM_007 - 2000-03-19 00:00:00
--Adun, here are a few hints when writing stories of this type - rRaminrodt - 2000-03-19 00:00:00
---Another quick note... - SM_007 - 2000-03-19 00:00:00